Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Two Questions About Calling Chicks

Question #1 - I got this girl's phone number a few months ago and never called. I did text her once, but I got discouraged when she didn't respond. So I didn't call. Since then, I've learned that this is extremely common, especially with the more social type of female that has lots going on, which is exactly what this girl is. I know this because I have since found out that we have some mutual acquaintances and because I'm a crazy online stalker. The good part about knowing some people in common is that I'm more likely to run into her again.

So, the question is this, am I better off calling her cold, after several months, or should I wait for a more opportune time to "casually" run into her via our common social connections? I'm leaning towards giving her a call. I really, really regret not pursuing this girl harder.

Question #2 - Is it better to leave a voice mail or not? I've heard all kinds of conflicting advice on this. I'm mostly referring to situations where you've gotten the number (via a cold approach or whatever) but you still don't know her very well.


Anonymous said...

Question 1: I'd let it go until you run into her again. Then you can build rapport or whatever, since it doesn't sound like you wowed her the first time. Calling after a few months comes off as desperate.

Question 2: I've pretty much quit calling entirely, and mainly text. I leave conversations for our date. With voicemails you run the risk of leaving a rambly message, or playing phone tag.

Sex, Lies and Attempts at Truth said...

I think calling isn't a bad idea. Open with "hey I was cleaning out my contacts and came across your number yada yada yada". Indicate you have some people in common and go from there. The voice mail question is tougher. Not leaving a message will cause her to wonder who called. I'd call - don't leave a message if voice mailed -and send a text follow-up.

Anonymous said...

Based on my experience in phone sales, voice mail should be your last option. Try calling at a time she is likely to be expecting a call (for example - after work when she might be trying to hook up with gfs for drinks and might be eargerly awaiting a call). She will be more likely to answer. Try calling a different times.

If you've been unable to talk to her and haven't run into her then you have nothing to lose by leaving a VM. The secret to getting someone to respond to a voice mail is to leverage curiousity. Here are some examples - "I heard an interesting rumor about you the other day. Give me a call" "I have this amazing idea for you. Give me a call." "I ran into one of your ex-bfs the other day and he reminded me of you. Give me a call."