Monday, October 26, 2009

Day Game

Went out day gaming today in downtown Seattle. My new wing, S, really seems to think that all I need to do is go direct. He's really firm about that. But right now, doing a direct approach on the street, with no pretext, is still really, really hard. However, I did manage some bookstore approaches and, if I'd been a little more ballsy and aggressive at the right time, I know I could have made them hook. I know, that sounds lame, and it is.

The interesting thing that happened was that I totally entranced a salesgirl without even really trying. She wasn't really hot, but she was fuckable. I would call her a fuckable 5.5. On my scale, a 6 is an above average, cute girl, so 5.5 isn't really that bad.

Anyway, I had made a few approaches already and was just kind of browsing when the salesgirl came up to ask me if I needed any help. We started talking and, as it turned out, she knew nothing about the section of books I was browsing, so I opened up and started telling her about some of the books there, explaining in one case how the ideas brought up by one author were the subject of a book by a different author. I also pointed out a couple of books that would be good gifts, since holidays are just around the corner. Then I got to talking about the publishing industry, the impact of the Kindle on the book business, and how I thought Amazon was starting to act kind of evil and monopolistic, especially with regards to the newspaper industry. This, of course, led to my thoughts on the problems the newspaper industry is having with declining ad revenue and what the implications of that are for the news media in general. It's amazing what happens when you have a pretext for talking about stuff you know a lot about.

To be fair, she could have just been listening to me to be polite. But, my gut instinct is that wasn't what was happening, mostly because of the way she was staring at me. Also, right at the end, her boyfriend/husband came in the store and motioned for her to come (he was obviously there to pick her up) and it was like he woke her up from a trance. She was kind of startled and said something like "oh gosh, I guess I need to go clock out." She literally sounded stunned.

So, from a game perspective, what seems to have happened here is that I generated very strong attraction by massively DHV'ing myself and hitting a number of attraction switches. I went into her world (the book industry) and showed that I know a lot about it, probably more than most of her peers and supervisors. That's a DHV right there. Then I started telling her about some of the books in that section, which is more DHV but also displays dominance (teacher/student). Then I started picking up different, related threads, demonstrating intelligence and knowledge. I was also well-dressed,groomed, etc.

Now, assuming that I wanted to turn this interaction into a number, what I needed to do was qualify her and give her a reason to believe that there were some things about her (other than her vagina) that I found attractive. In other words, after massively DHV'ing myself, I had to find a way to bring her up closer to my level.

So, the first lesson learned here is find a pretext, any pretext, to start blabbing about shit I know a lot about.

The second lesson is to qualify, qualify, qualify. Then, when I'm done with that, I need to qualify some more. In fact, the beauty of qualification is that it should help me find some pretext, whatever it is, to start blabbing about stuff I know a lot about.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Speed Dating Sucks

I went to this speed dating charity fundraiser last night. I've done speed dating a couple of times before, mostly because I was curious about it. This time I went because a friend of mine was organizing it and he was short of guys.

Anyway, it sucked. That's what I'm getting to here. It would have been better if I could have lied about my age, but that wasn't in the cards since my friend obviously knows how old I am. Since I got stuck in the older group, some of the women I talked to were really, really older than me - I'm talking women that looked like they were in their mid-50's. Keep in mind that I am a very young looking 39. My dating strategy is go younger, not older. And it wasn't just that they were old, but some of these women were just absolutely hideous warpigs. In fact, even in the younger group I didn't see many women that were very good looking - maybe a handful.

Next time he does this, if he wants me to go, I am going to insist that he at least put me in the younger group.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Weekend In Review

I changed things up a bit this week. Went out on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday with my regular wing, M, and a new guy in town, S, that is probably more advanced than most guys in Seattle right now. On Saturday, a couple other new guys joined us that I have a pretty good feeling about. I really hope that this group of guys can turn into a solid group that goes out together regularly. The new guys are REALLY inexperienced, but at the same time they seem pretty serious. But even if the new guys don't work out, it looks like S will, which is awesome.

Towards the end of the night on Thursday, I talked with M and S wrt my frustrations about how useless it is to go out with the big group from the previous week. My basic point was that nobody is really improving in that sort of situation, partly because the group is just too damn big, but also because, like I said before, it's the blind leading the blind - none of those guys are going out with any kind of a plan. So, we agreed to start meeting earlier in the night and to start reviewing our plan before we head out.

Incidentally, I've started calling that big group of guys the super squad, which I think is hilarious. On the forum, I didn't even have to explain it. Everyone knew immediately who I was talking about. Last night, I even turned it into an opener, asking a couple groups in Amber, "hey, have you guys seen the super squad?" Of course, they didn't have any idea who or what I was talking about, but I amused myself, which was sort of the point.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The blind leading the blind

Went out last Saturday with some of the local community guys. It's becoming more and more clear to me that this sort of an outing is simply an exercise in the blind leading the blind. None of these guys really have any clue what they're doing. They don't know what they want to open with, how to transition, how to build attraction, establish comfort, etc. I don't think any of them really understand how to escalate. I believe I mentioned in a previous post that there are just a handful of guys connected to the Seattle Lair that have any real game. Yeah, none of those guys were out with us on Saturday.

Seriously, what exactly is the point of a bunch of dudes with sub-par social skills all going out together?

Which isn't to say that I'm any better, because I'm not. But, it's clear to me that I'm not going to get any better just going out with these guys and hanging out. This is reinforcing to me my conviction that I need to do an RSD bootcamp, and the sooner I can get that done the better off I'll be.

In the meantime, I can work on tightening up my game. When I first started this stuff last spring, I was going out with a plan. I knew what I wanted to open and transition with and I had some ideas at least about building attraction. But then that shit all got lost somewhere in the following few months. This doesn't mean I want to become robo-pua, spitting out attraction routines like some kind of social robot, but I do want to make sure I'm going out at night with a basic idea of how to open, transition, build attraction, etc. so that I can start building up some positive reference experiences.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Two Questions About Calling Chicks

Question #1 - I got this girl's phone number a few months ago and never called. I did text her once, but I got discouraged when she didn't respond. So I didn't call. Since then, I've learned that this is extremely common, especially with the more social type of female that has lots going on, which is exactly what this girl is. I know this because I have since found out that we have some mutual acquaintances and because I'm a crazy online stalker. The good part about knowing some people in common is that I'm more likely to run into her again.

So, the question is this, am I better off calling her cold, after several months, or should I wait for a more opportune time to "casually" run into her via our common social connections? I'm leaning towards giving her a call. I really, really regret not pursuing this girl harder.

Question #2 - Is it better to leave a voice mail or not? I've heard all kinds of conflicting advice on this. I'm mostly referring to situations where you've gotten the number (via a cold approach or whatever) but you still don't know her very well.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

RSD Bootcamp

I'm one step closer to signing up for a Real Social Dynamics (RSD) bootcamp. If you aren't familiar with RSD, they are famous in the Community for rejecting the more common Solid Game approach (i.e. various methods derived from Mystery Method) in favor of what they call Natural Game. Basically, what it comes down to is that they really, really focus on inner game issues, getting you loose and unstifled, bringing energy and fun, and pushing hardcore aggressiveness and sexual escalation.

They're also known for being somewhat cult-like. RSD guys can be a little fanatical. At this point, I'm less worried about that.

I just finished looking at the money side of things and if I do it in San Francisco, I think I can do the whole trip for about $2,300. The normal cost of an RSD bootcamp is $2000, but if you take it in SF or Austin, it's only $1500. I imagine that's because the instructors are based in those cities, which keeps them from having to pay travel expenses. So, if they were doing it here in Seattle, it would be $2000, not a huge difference really.

San Francisco is ideal for several reasons. First off, it's a cool city and someplace I think I might want to live someday. Secondly, it's a quick plane ride, so I can leave Seattle Friday morning and be settled in my hotel by early afternoon. These things usually start off in the early evening, so that should work fine. At the same time, I can catch a late flight out Sunday night, which saves me from having to pay for a hotel that night. If I were to go to Austin instead, I would have to plan for additional travel time, which would make the whole thing that much more expensive. But, the number one reason to take it in SF is because the instructor will be Jeffy, aka Jlaix, one of the most well-known and known to be legit PUAs in the Community. He also has a reputation as one of the best teachers, which is super-important to me.

There's a very good chance I'll book the whole thing tomorrow. I have a few logistical questions that I need answered first, such as when I need to be there on that Friday and when I should plan to fly out Sunday night. Part of what makes it affordable is limiting my stay to Friday and Saturday nights. I'll be exhausted when I get home, but it will be worth it I think.

Some reasons to move forward with this:

Self-knowledge/progress report

After six months or so in The Game, I am basically stuck. I've made some minor progress, become a lot more open than I was a year ago, but I'm not getting laid. Most nights I can approach, but there are some nights where I feel completely stuck in my head. I've mentioned before that I don't feel like I'm a very fun person. Interesting yes, but not especially "fun", per se. In this way, I am actually extremely male - logical, intensely analytical, etc. Even if this is all in my head, it's a HUGE problem for me, especially when it comes to Night Game, because that attitude colors all of my interactions.

Last Saturday Night

I was out with a bunch of local Community guys on Saturday night and couldn't do anything. I wasn't especially anxious or anything, just stuck. It's kind of hard to explain. I wanted to approach, but in the back of my head all I can think is that it's completely useless. At the same time, I watched this other guy in the group just go completely direct and sexual with the hottest girl in the club (one of the hottest girls I've seen in a while) and have her basically eating out of his hand. I would be shocked if he didn't fuck her later that night.

The thing about this guy is that he is very anti-method. I know him well enough to know that he's basically taught himself to go completely natural and do what he wants to do whenever he wants to do it. He's somehow managed to free himself from all of his social conditioning. This is very RSD-ish.

Personal Recommendation

A friend of mine took Jeffy's bootcamp in SF a few weeks ago and emerged with his game at a whole new level. This guy knows me. He moved to a different city a few months ago, but we've kept in touch and he knows what my issues are. He agreed that this is the best thing for me to do.

Some Other Thoughts:

I've basically come to the conclusion that the pure Solid Game approach isn't going to work for me right now. At this point, when I go out I am too stuck in my head - and that's even on my best nights. I also HATE having to drink when I go out. I don't drink a lot, but three drinks seems to be what it takes to get me to loosen up. I HATE that!

I think I may actually have kind of a dominant personality. It comes out sometimes at work when I go into "command" mode, usually in crisis situations. My voice and tonality, and body language all change. Really, everything about me changes.  If true, this would obviously help me out considerably. But, I have to do something to bring it out in the social environment. There's at least a chance RSD can do this for me. I'm looking for an experience that will literally shake my reality and put me in a different place.