Friday, November 26, 2010

Definition Of An Attractive Man

Definition of an attractive man:

  • High Status
  • Not a wuss
  • Makes good money
  • Drives a nice car
  • Intelligent
  • Good conversationalist
  • Sense of humor
  • In shape
  • Groomed
  • Dresses well
  • Nice living space
  • Interesting or adventurous lifestyle

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Friday, October 15, 2010

Sinn is an Idiot

I listened in on a teleseminar that Sinn offered last night. He gave some good advice about how to go about getting better at Game, which was great - very good advice. Then, at the end, he pitched his new training program, which he is calling the Platinum Mastermind Group. It's a six month program that consists of two bootcamps, customized curriculum, and a couple of monthly calls - all for the low, low price of $8000.

If you ask me, that's a pretty good chunk of change. But, that's fine. If the program is worth it and will give you the result you want, then okay. What I really object to are some of the high pressure sales techniques he used. For instance, you have to "apply" for the program by midnight next Tuesday I believe. When I heard that, I'm like "are you kidding me?" You're really putting a product out there, pricing it at $8K, and you expect people to make snap decisions about it? Who has that kind of money to just spend at the drop of a hat? If I was making $120K each year, then maybe, but I'm not and neither are most guys that were listening to that call. Also, he emphasized over and over again that he's only "accepting" six guys into the program. Oh yeah? You're telling me that if I fill out a form that says I'll give you $8,000, that you'll find a way to turn that down?

I'm actually fine with companies putting a premium price on some of their offerings. But, when you throw something out there out of the blue, with that kind of price tag, how does that make sense exactly? Also, who treats their potential customers like that?

Another thing, there doesn't seem to be any way to contact Sinn or anyone from his company directly to ask questions. Again, how does this make sense? Who spends $8K without at least asking a few questions first?

I will say this: based on my gut instinct and from what I've heard other people say about him, I am fully willing to believe that Sinn is one of the best teachers/coaches in the game. But, this is a shitty, shitty way to run a business. It just is.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

More Anecdotal Evidence That Looks and Appearance Matter

I'll make this short and sweet. 

I went to a pub crawl thing last night for a friend's birthday. Most of these people I don't really know that well. There was one girl there that I met probably 4 years ago, and I've seen her maybe three or four times since then at various gatherings but we've never really had much to say to one another. 

Well, that sure as hell changed last night. We probably talked for an hour. 

My reality is shifting. Time to approach more.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Looks and Appearance Matter

In the last few months, the nature of my interactions with women have changed. I'm being received better. They're more interested. I don't need to work as hard.

This is not a result of me improving my game. If anything, my game has stagnated since back in March when I last posted. What HAS changed, however, is that I am in much better shape than I was back then. The hard work has paid off. Going on nine months of CrossFit training and I've lost between 20-25 pounds and put on a ton of muscle. I look light years better than I did at the beginning of the year. I still have a long way to go, but the results so far are undeniable.

In my opinion, most people would benefit from a rigorous, strenuous exercise program that includes a significant strength training component. For men that want to improve their lot with women, this is even more important. I personally recommend CrossFit, because I've seen how effective it is, but it is far from the only option. However, if you are one of those people (most) that don't truly understand what it means to work out, you should at least consider something like CrossFit.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Night Game Fatigue

I'm getting really tired of trolling the bars and clubs every Friday and Saturday night. It isn't fun. It's really just become something I do because I feel like I need to do it.

This has me thinking about Day Game again. I've gone back and forth on this issue in the last few months, but logically, it seems like Day Game almost has to be the answer for me. I'm just not sure how to get myself started with it. I've tried before, but it never sticks. I'll go out once and that'll be it. Night Game, for what it's worth, is more or less within my comfort zone. I suck at it, but I don't have major issues approaching in that environment. Yes, I still put the pussy on a pedestal, but that pedestal isn't quite as high as it used to be.

But, as I said, wandering aimlessly from one bar to the next just isn't any fun at all. Even though I'm reasonably comfortable in Night Game environments, it just feels like a strange thing to be doing. It feels dysfunctional to be going out like this instead of just going out to have a good time like normal people do. I feel like I should have better options.

So, if I can get myself started with Day Game, maybe that's what my next few posts will be about.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Limiting Beliefs

I'm 99% certain that my own limiting beliefs are what is holding me back in both my personal life and my professional life. Despite everything I've done over the last year to change things up - improv classes, salsa classes, crossfit, learning game and improving my social skills - the enemy is still me. I see him every day in the mirror.

In the last year, I've gone from paying zero attention to fashion and grooming to being legitimately well-dressed and having a good haircut. I'm down 20 pounds from a year ago. I have a whole new circle of friends. In the last year, I've approached a lot of women - certainly more than I ever had in my life before this. I'm still not very successful out there, but I've at least figured out that when I approach a woman, I very often get a positive response. My living situation, while not ideal, is much improved. I have a short commute to work. Despite all of these tangible improvements, I still walk through life unsure of myself. Much like when I was a kid, I rarely feel like I belong anywhere. When I enter a set, it never feels right - I feel like I don't belong. When I'm trying to run a meeting at work, I often feel like an impostor, and it shows. 

Where does this come from?  How do I get rid of it?

The few times in my life where I've truly felt comfortable in where I am and what I'm doing have always been heavily situational. School was always one of those venues. Certain jobs where I really, really knew my shit were some others. Basically, any area where, for whatever reason, I can feel confident in my knowledge and expertise is an area where I'm going to do pretty well. The social arena is never that way. Part of me simply doesn't trust people. The only people I'm truly at ease with are my parents and my sister and some few extended family members. Even with my very best friends, there's always been a part of me that stayed on guard.

I will say this, while all of the above is true, I think I am considerably more confident than I was a year and a half ago. I'm also happier than I was back then. There is no question about either of these. The work I've done on myself has paid off to some extent. I would not want to go back to where I was two years ago, and the person I was three years ago - well, I'm not sure who that guy was. So not all is lost. Progress has been made. But I still have a lot of work to do.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I Have High Standards

I have high standards for what I want in a woman. There's a certain type I'm attracted to. Beautiful, yes, I like beautiful women, but it's more than that. I want charm and style and class. That's what I'm attracted to. I came close to that a couple years ago, but it didn't work out. That's one reason I'm plugging away at this stuff. I want to be with quality women.
The other night I was at this party. It was a pretty big event - couple hundred people. There were a lot of girls there. My friend pointed out one girl to me that he said was down to fuck that night. She was decent looking, but I wasn't really attracted. Should I have pursued this? I don't know. I think that, minimally, I have to find something in the girl that is attractive to me before I can really pursue it. Otherwise, it's just not going to work.

Roosh says here that you should never pass on the sure thing:

8. You will go home empty-handed if you pass on the sure thing.
If one night you have both a sure thing and a “maybe” with another girl, always go for the sure thing. It’s never happened in the history of the world that a man got something after skipping on the sure thing, party because the mere act of skipping on the sure thing for some other girl means you’re overvaluing the better girl. Bad game will leak out as a result.
Don’t worry, they’ll another be another opportunity to upgrade next time, but on this night, go ahead and get your dick wet. As a man who has lost count of how many times I skipped over the sure-thing and got nothing, trust me when I say that the other girl won’t put out. You’ll get a number at most. This partially goes against my philosophy that you should pick the girl and not let her pick you, but when guaranteed sex is at play it’s okay to put that aside.
I like Roosh, but I don't think I agree with this, at least not for myself. I didn't get into the game to fuck the sure thing. Like I said at the beginning, I want quality women. That's why I'm doing this.

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Attitude of the Closer

A few months back, a thread got started on the online forum for the local lair about the importance of having the attitude of a "closer". You have to want to close the deal. This is why we go out - to meet girls, get to know them, and then fuck them.

I'll give you an example of why this is so important.

A few weeks ago, I went to this charity event in the University District. A friend of mine was involved with this group, and I thought the cause was great, so I showed up to buy a few drinks and do what I could to help out. I knew there would be a fair number of people there, but it was a Monday night and I didn't really expect much in the way of opportunities to Game. I mingled. I talked with some people I knew and met a few new ones. There were a few girls there and I did talk kind of briefly with this cute college girl, and even managed to throw out a couple of DHV stories from my time in the military. I didn't sense a whole lot of attraction from her, which was fine. I could tell she was really young, and as interested as I may be in fucking girls that age, they can be pretty hard to relate to. So after about 8 minutes, it just kind of fizzled out, which, again, was just fine. 

But then, as I was leaving, she stopped me. She said "oh, are you leaving now?", or something to that effect. So I stopped and talked to her for a little while longer, seeded a date, and got her number.

Tried her several days later and no response. Tried her a week or so after that and still no response. Tried again a week or so ago and still no response.

I can look back at this interaction and point to a number of things I did wrong. I really didn't qualify her enough. I didn't escalate, at least not much beyond social touching. I didn't ping for compliance. I didn't move her. The interaction was actually more similar to day game than night game.

But, the biggest mistake I made was not putting in the effort to "close the deal". In fact, I was so stunned that this girl was giving me IOI's (and then actually getting her number), that I basically just gave up early in the interaction to "preserve the win".

The lesson learned is this: that girl that was attracted to you that night, in that particular situation, could very well have second thoughts the next day. If she's a hot girl, she more than likely has other guys calling and texting her. Some of those guys, quite frankly, may be better options than you. More importantly, even if she isn't juggling a ton of other dudes, it's highly likely she won't remember what it was about you that she was so attracted to that night that she gave you her number.

Which is why it's so important to push the interaction as far as possible and get that shit done. You still may not fuck her that night. In fact, the chances of you fucking her that night are probably still pretty slim. But, if you push the interaction as far as it can go, you leave more of an emotional footprint on her, and that's going to give you a better chance of actually getting her to go out with you and, ideally, the two of you having some sexy time together.

Monday, February 15, 2010

What I'm Listening To

The top ten on my workout playlist:

  1. Feel It  (feat. Tiesto) [with Sean Kingston & Flo Rida) - Three 6 Mafia
  2. Never Enough (Feat. 50 cent & Nate Dogg) - Eminem
  3. Nothin' On You (featuring Bruno Mars) - B.o.B.
  4. Business - Eminem
  5. Written On Her - Birdman, Jay Sean, Flo Rida, & MackMaine
  6. 'Till I Collapse - Eminem
  7. Say Aah (feat. Fabolous) - Trey Songz
  8. Troublemaker - Akon & Sweet Rush
  9. Keep You Much Longer - Akon
  10. I Made It (Cash Money Heroes) [feat. Birdman, Jay Sean, & Lil Wayne) - Kevin Rudolph

I just came into a bunch of Eminem stuff courtesy of my roommate and his 150 GB music collection. Never listened to him too much before but he's starting to grow on me.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

CrossFit Controversy

Yesterday, an anonymous human left a pretty awesome comment on my last CrossFit Update post.

Personally, I like CrossFit because the concept of functional fitness just really appeals to me. It makes sense. However, as I learn more and more about it, I'm also learning about the controversy.  Here is great article I found the other day that I think gives a very evenhanded treatment of CrossFit - both good and bad.

While I realize CrossFit isn't the most effective way to build muscle, my goals are more aligned with overall fitness and weight loss, not bodybuilding or power lifting. I really just want to drop weight and get my body back and not cringe when I see myself naked in the mirror. And it seems to be working. The actual weight loss, as measured on the scale, is still pretty minimal, but when I look in the mirror, I see my gut starting to pull in and I'm seeing and feeling muscles in my shoulders and legs that have simply never been there before. My jeans are getting looser as well and I'm starting to swim in some of my shirts.

One other quick note: last weekend I got my squat up to 175 lbs, and it was fairly easy. My workout that day was actually pretty awesome. I warmed up by rowing 1000m and then I did 100 lunges, 100 squats, 100 pushups, and 100 situps. The squats and lunges were both bodyweight only. Then I moved over to the weights and did squats 5 X 5 at 155 lbs, 1 X 3 at 165 lbs, and 1 X 3 at 175 lbs. I know this isn't huge weight by true weightlifting standards, but I'm pretty pleased with the improvement - about 40 lbs in 8 weeks. My near term goal on the squat is 200 lbs, which I think I'll have handled in the next month or so. For the year, is 300 lbs doable? I think it could be.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Crossfit Update

Just finished week 7 of my crossfit program. I'm going 4 days a week now, plus I'm working out on my own at least one day of the weekend. I need to start running soon.

My whole body feels stronger now and I have way more energy at work and when going out at night.

Last week I found my deadlift max of 225 pounds. I'm not really sure how good or bad that is, but think it's probably in the "okay" range. I'm hoping to have that up to 245 in five or six weeks when it's time to try it again. Is 300 attainable by the end of the year? I don't know enough yet to know the answer to that question.

I haven't found my max squat yet, but I squatted 160 pounds doing multiple reps (5 sets of 3), and it was challenging but reasonably doable. I suspect my one rep max is probably 170 or above. When I started back in early December, I think I was doing sets of 145 pounds, which I think was challenging mostly because I wasn't used to the movement.

On the scale, I'm down 5-7 pounds. This is okay progress, but I'm sure I could do better than that if I committed to an actual diet. Meh. We'll see.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Approaching Direct

Interesting night last night. We went to a venue in Seattle's Belltown district that's pretty popular and I swear there were at least 20 local community guys there that I either knew personally or through others. Every time you turned around another one of those guys was there.
Of course, I could have just left and gone to a different bar. :)

But, what I really want to write about is a direct approach I made last night. To go ahead and give away the ending, no I didn't take her home for glory times, nor did I get her number. In fact, I can't even remember exactly what I said. I think I basically approached, touched her immediately, TOLD her she had to tell me her name and that there was something about her that was really attracting me. Then I went into qualification and got her to talk about herself. She was a Kindergarten teacher, which is super attractive right there.

What was encouraging about this approach was that I could tell right away that I was generating attraction. I went for the number fairly quickly and (surprise) was rejected! She did take my number, explaining that she just doesn't give out her number to guys. Also, she lives on the other side of the state, in Spokane, so I'm sure that had something to do with it. I really, really doubt she'll call. I give it about a 5% chance.

Regardless of the outcome, what was encouraging about this was the attraction I got back during the interaction. I did try this once before, last spring, and it worked really well that time as well, but I guess I just kind of forgot. I have to start doing this more. This is going to be key for me, especially in this type of venue where it's super loud, with tons of distractions, and where normal conversation is pretty close to impossible. Yes, there will be a certain numbers game aspect to this, but that's fine.