tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079926545699829482024-03-08T01:28:05.675-08:00Notes on self improvement, dating, and anything else I feel like talking aboutGabehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02240522697064440587noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-85650856793076288452010-11-26T23:23:00.001-08:002010-11-27T15:01:49.001-08:00Definition Of An Attractive ManDefinition of an attractive man:<br />
<br />
<ul><li>High Status</li>
<li>Not a wuss</li>
<li>Makes good money</li>
<li>Drives a nice car</li>
<li>Intelligent</li>
<li>Good conversationalist</li>
<li>Sense of humor</li>
<li>In shape</li>
<li>Groomed</li>
<li>Dresses well</li>
<li>Nice living space</li>
<li>Interesting or adventurous lifestyle</li>
</ul>Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09790452882894058855noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-48569672600528446582010-10-21T14:26:00.000-07:002010-10-21T14:26:40.410-07:00The Science of Self ChangeI ran across an interesting, very excellent post on RSD Nation on the science of self change.<br />
<br />
Here it is:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20%20http://www.rsdnation.com/node/164397">The Science of Self Change 2.0: The Most Important Thing You'll Ever Read? Maybe.......Depends on if You Use it!</a>Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09790452882894058855noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-43889731495520120232010-10-15T09:04:00.000-07:002010-10-15T09:04:03.879-07:00Sinn is an IdiotI listened in on a teleseminar that Sinn offered last night. He gave some good advice about how to go about getting better at Game, which was great - very good advice. Then, at the end, he pitched his new training program, which he is calling the Platinum Mastermind Group. It's a six month program that consists of two bootcamps, customized curriculum, and a couple of monthly calls - all for the low, low price of $8000.<br />
<br />
If you ask me, that's a pretty good chunk of change. But, that's fine. If the program is worth it and will give you the result you want, then okay. What I really object to are some of the high pressure sales techniques he used. For instance, you have to "apply" for the program by midnight next Tuesday I believe. When I heard that, I'm like "are you kidding me?" You're really putting a product out there, pricing it at $8K, and you expect people to make snap decisions about it? Who has that kind of money to just spend at the drop of a hat? If I was making $120K each year, then maybe, but I'm not and neither are most guys that were listening to that call. Also, he emphasized over and over again that he's only "accepting" six guys into the program. Oh yeah? You're telling me that if I fill out a form that says I'll give you $8,000, that you'll find a way to turn that down?<br />
<br />
I'm actually fine with companies putting a premium price on some of their offerings. But, when you throw something out there out of the blue, with that kind of price tag, how does that make sense exactly? Also, who treats their potential customers like that? <br />
<br />
Another thing, there doesn't seem to be any way to contact Sinn or anyone from his company directly to ask questions. Again, how does this make sense? Who spends $8K without at least asking a few questions first?<br />
<br />
I will say this: based on my gut instinct and from what I've heard other people say about him, I am fully willing to believe that Sinn is one of the best teachers/coaches in the game. But, this is a shitty, shitty way to run a business. It just is.Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09790452882894058855noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-30937522687333872732010-08-29T17:07:00.000-07:002010-08-29T17:07:53.580-07:00More Anecdotal Evidence That Looks and Appearance Matter<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'll make this short and sweet. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I went to a pub crawl thing last night for a friend's birthday. Most of these people I don't really know that well. There was one girl there that I met probably 4 years ago, and I've seen her maybe three or four times since then at various gatherings but we've never really had much to say to one another. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well, that sure as hell changed last night. We probably talked for an hour. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My reality is shifting. </span>Time to approach more.Rakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09790452882894058855noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-23075717641363118642010-08-17T23:28:00.000-07:002010-08-17T23:28:28.817-07:00Looks and Appearance MatterIn the last few months, the nature of my interactions with women have changed. I'm being received better. They're more interested. I don't need to work as hard.<br />
<br />
This is not a result of me improving my game. If anything, my game has stagnated since back in March when I last posted. What HAS changed, however, is that I am in much better shape than I was back then. The hard work has paid off. Going on nine months of CrossFit training and I've lost between 20-25 pounds and put on a ton of muscle. I look light years better than I did at the beginning of the year. I still have a long way to go, but the results so far are undeniable.<br />
<br />
In my opinion, most people would benefit from a rigorous, strenuous exercise program that includes a significant strength training component. For men that want to improve their lot with women, this is even more important. I personally recommend CrossFit, because I've seen how effective it is, but it is far from the only option. However, if you are one of those people (most) that don't truly understand what it means to work out, you should at least consider something like CrossFit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-78530526395039843252010-03-20T17:11:00.000-07:002010-03-20T17:13:27.360-07:00Night Game FatigueI'm getting really tired of trolling the bars and clubs every Friday and Saturday night. It isn't fun. It's really just become something I do because I feel like I need to do it. <br />
<br />
This has me thinking about Day Game again. I've gone back and forth on this issue in the last few months, but logically, it seems like Day Game almost has to be the answer for me. I'm just not sure how to get myself started with it. I've tried before, but it never sticks. I'll go out once and that'll be it. Night Game, for what it's worth, is more or less within my comfort zone. I suck at it, but I don't have major issues approaching in that environment. Yes, I still put the pussy on a pedestal, but that pedestal isn't quite as high as it used to be. <br />
<br />
But, as I said, wandering aimlessly from one bar to the next just isn't any fun at all. Even though I'm reasonably comfortable in Night Game environments, it just feels like a strange thing to be doing. It feels dysfunctional to be going out like this instead of just going out to have a good time like normal people do. I feel like I should have better options.<br />
<br />
So, if I can get myself started with Day Game, maybe that's what my next few posts will be about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-78578957251999363242010-03-12T00:21:00.000-08:002010-03-12T00:21:24.667-08:00Limiting BeliefsI'm 99% certain that my own limiting beliefs are what is holding me back in both my personal life and my professional life. Despite everything I've done over the last year to change things up - improv classes, salsa classes, crossfit, learning game and improving my social skills - the enemy is still me. I see him every day in the mirror.<br />
<br />
In the last year, I've gone from paying zero attention to fashion and grooming to being legitimately well-dressed and having a good haircut. I'm down 20 pounds from a year ago. I have a whole new circle of friends. In the last year, I've approached a lot of women - certainly more than I ever had in my life before this. I'm still not very successful out there, but I've at least figured out that when I approach a woman, I very often get a positive response. My living situation, while not ideal, is much improved. I have a short commute to work. Despite all of these tangible improvements, I still walk through life unsure of myself. Much like when I was a kid, I rarely feel like I belong anywhere. When I enter a set, it never feels right - I feel like I don't belong. When I'm trying to run a meeting at work, I often feel like an impostor, and it shows. <br />
<br />
Where does this come from? How do I get rid of it? <br />
<br />
The few times in my life where I've truly felt comfortable in where I am and what I'm doing have always been heavily situational. School was always one of those venues. Certain jobs where I really, really knew my shit were some others. Basically, any area where, for whatever reason, I can feel confident in my knowledge and expertise is an area where I'm going to do pretty well. The social arena is never that way. Part of me simply doesn't trust people. The only people I'm truly at ease with are my parents and my sister and some few extended family members. Even with my very best friends, there's always been a part of me that stayed on guard. <br />
<br />
I will say this, while all of the above is true, I think I am considerably more confident than I was a year and a half ago. I'm also happier than I was back then. There is no question about either of these. The work I've done on myself has paid off to some extent. I would not want to go back to where I was two years ago, and the person I was three years ago - well, I'm not sure who that guy was. So not all is lost. Progress has been made. But I still have a lot of work to do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-40472355428205122942010-03-02T23:00:00.000-08:002010-03-02T23:00:09.607-08:00I Have High Standards<span style="font-family: arial;">I have high standards for what I want in a woman. There's a certain type I'm attracted to. Beautiful, yes, I like beautiful women, but it's more than that. I want charm and style and class. That's what I'm attracted to. I came close to that a couple years ago, but it didn't work out. That's one reason I'm plugging away at this stuff. I want to be with quality women.<br />
</span><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The other night I was at this party. It was a pretty big event - couple hundred people. There were a lot of girls there. My friend pointed out one girl to me that he said was down to fuck that night. She was decent looking, but I wasn't really attracted. Should I have pursued this? I don't know. I think that, minimally, I have to find something in the girl that is attractive to me before I can really pursue it. Otherwise, it's just not going to work. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><br />
Roosh says <a href="http://www.rooshv.com/the-9-immutable-laws-of-pick-up">here</a> that you should never pass on the sure thing:<br />
<br />
<blockquote><strong><span style="font-size: medium;">8. You will go home empty-handed if you pass on the sure thing.</span></strong><br />
If one night you have both a sure thing and a “maybe” with another girl, always go for the sure thing. It’s never happened in the history of the world that a man got something after skipping on the sure thing, party because the mere act of skipping on the sure thing for some other girl means you’re overvaluing the better girl. Bad game will leak out as a result. <br />
Don’t worry, they’ll another be another opportunity to upgrade next time, but on this night, go ahead and get your dick wet. As a man who has lost count of how many times I skipped over the sure-thing and got nothing, trust me when I say that the other girl won’t put out. You’ll get a number at most. This partially goes against my philosophy that you should pick the girl and not let her pick you, but when guaranteed sex is at play it’s okay to put that aside.</blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;">I like Roosh, but I don't think I agree with this, at least not for myself. I didn't get into the game to fuck the sure thing. Like I said at the beginning, I want quality women. That's why I'm doing this.</span></span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-41775768164929774652010-03-01T23:57:00.000-08:002010-03-01T23:57:42.660-08:00The Attitude of the CloserA few months back, a thread got started on the online forum for the local lair about the importance of having the attitude of a "closer". You have to want to close the deal. This is why we go out - to meet girls, get to know them, and then fuck them. <br />
<br />
I'll give you an example of why this is so important.<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago, I went to this charity event in the University District. A friend of mine was involved with this group, and I thought the cause was great, so I showed up to buy a few drinks and do what I could to help out. I knew there would be a fair number of people there, but it was a Monday night and I didn't really expect much in the way of opportunities to Game. I mingled. I talked with some people I knew and met a few new ones. There were a few girls there and I did talk kind of briefly with this cute college girl, and even managed to throw out a couple of DHV stories from my time in the military. I didn't sense a whole lot of attraction from her, which was fine. I could tell she was really young, and as interested as I may be in fucking girls that age, they can be pretty hard to relate to. So after about 8 minutes, it just kind of fizzled out, which, again, was just fine. <br />
<br />
But then, as I was leaving, she stopped me. She said "oh, are you leaving now?", or something to that effect. So I stopped and talked to her for a little while longer, seeded a date, and got her number.<br />
<br />
Tried her several days later and no response. Tried her a week or so after that and still no response. Tried again a week or so ago and still no response.<br />
<br />
I can look back at this interaction and point to a number of things I did wrong. I really didn't qualify her enough. I didn't escalate, at least not much beyond social touching. I didn't ping for compliance. I didn't move her. The interaction was actually more similar to day game than night game. <br />
<br />
But, the biggest mistake I made was not putting in the effort to "close the deal". In fact, I was so stunned that this girl was giving me IOI's (and then actually getting her number), that I basically just gave up early in the interaction to "preserve the win".<br />
<br />
The lesson learned is this: that girl that was attracted to you that night, in that particular situation, could very well have second thoughts the next day. If she's a hot girl, she more than likely has other guys calling and texting her. Some of those guys, quite frankly, may be better options than you. More importantly, even if she isn't juggling a ton of other dudes, it's highly likely she won't remember what it was about you that she was so attracted to that night that she gave you her number.<br />
<br />
Which is why it's so important to push the interaction as far as possible and get that shit done. You still may not fuck her that night. In fact, the chances of you fucking her that night are probably still pretty slim. But, if you push the interaction as far as it can go, you leave more of an emotional footprint on her, and that's going to give you a better chance of actually getting her to go out with you and, ideally, the two of you having some sexy time together.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-27658329124716414382010-02-15T13:41:00.000-08:002010-02-15T13:43:23.272-08:00What I'm Listening ToThe top ten on my workout playlist:<br />
<br />
<ol><li>Feel It (feat. Tiesto) [with Sean Kingston & Flo Rida) - Three 6 Mafia</li>
<li>Never Enough (Feat. 50 cent & Nate Dogg) - Eminem</li>
<li>Nothin' On You (featuring Bruno Mars) - B.o.B. </li>
<li>Business - Eminem</li>
<li>Written On Her - Birdman, Jay Sean, Flo Rida, & MackMaine</li>
<li>'Till I Collapse - Eminem</li>
<li>Say Aah (feat. Fabolous) - Trey Songz </li>
<li>Troublemaker - Akon & Sweet Rush</li>
<li>Keep You Much Longer - Akon</li>
<li>I Made It (Cash Money Heroes) [feat. Birdman, Jay Sean, & Lil Wayne) - Kevin Rudolph</li>
</ol><br />
I just came into a bunch of Eminem stuff courtesy of my roommate and his 150 GB music collection. Never listened to him too much before but he's starting to grow on me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-6144129134030220702010-01-30T12:22:00.000-08:002010-01-30T12:23:45.930-08:00CrossFit Controversy<div style="font-family: inherit;">Yesterday, an anonymous human left a pretty awesome comment on my last <a href="http://rakeinseattle.blogspot.com/2010/01/crossfit-update.html">CrossFit Update</a> post. </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;">Personally, I like CrossFit because the concept of functional fitness just really appeals to me. It makes sense. However, as I learn more and more about it, I'm also learning about the controversy. <a href="http://www.tmuscle.com/free_online_article/sex_news_sports_funny/the_truth_about_crossfit">Here </a>is great article I found the other day that I think gives a very evenhanded treatment of CrossFit - both good and bad.</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;">While I realize CrossFit isn't the most effective way to build muscle, my goals are more aligned with overall fitness and weight loss, not bodybuilding or power lifting. I really just want to drop weight and get my body back and not cringe when I see myself naked in the mirror. And it seems to be working. The actual weight loss, as measured on the scale, is still pretty minimal, but when I look in the mirror, I see my gut starting to pull in and I'm seeing and feeling muscles in my shoulders and legs that have simply never been there before. My jeans are getting looser as well and I'm starting to swim in some of my shirts.</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;">One other quick note: last weekend I got my squat up to 175 lbs, and it was fairly easy. My workout that day was actually pretty awesome. I warmed up by rowing 1000m and then I did 100 lunges, 100 squats, 100 pushups, and 100 situps. The squats and lunges were both bodyweight only. Then I moved over to the weights and did squats 5 X 5 at 155 lbs, 1 X 3 at 165 lbs, and 1 X 3 at 175 lbs. I know this isn't huge weight by true weightlifting standards, but I'm pretty pleased with the improvement - about 40 lbs in 8 weeks. My near term goal on the squat is 200 lbs, which I think I'll have handled in the next month or so. For the year, is 300 lbs doable? I think it could be. </div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-28839201777466630072010-01-23T16:49:00.000-08:002010-01-23T16:49:12.049-08:00Crossfit UpdateJust finished week 7 of my crossfit program. I'm going 4 days a week now, plus I'm working out on my own at least one day of the weekend. I need to start running soon.<br />
<br />
My whole body feels stronger now and I have way more energy at work and when going out at night.<br />
<br />
Last week I found my deadlift max of 225 pounds. I'm not really sure how good or bad that is, but think it's probably in the "okay" range. I'm hoping to have that up to 245 in five or six weeks when it's time to try it again. Is 300 attainable by the end of the year? I don't know enough yet to know the answer to that question.<br />
<br />
I haven't found my max squat yet, but I squatted 160 pounds doing multiple reps (5 sets of 3), and it was challenging but reasonably doable. I suspect my one rep max is probably 170 or above. When I started back in early December, I think I was doing sets of 145 pounds, which I think was challenging mostly because I wasn't used to the movement. <br />
<br />
On the scale, I'm down 5-7 pounds. This is okay progress, but I'm sure I could do better than that if I committed to an actual diet. Meh. We'll see.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-88165192968425464662010-01-03T16:47:00.000-08:002010-01-03T16:47:16.410-08:00Approaching DirectInteresting night last night. We went to a venue in Seattle's Belltown district that's pretty popular and I swear there were at least 20 local community guys there that I either knew personally or through others. Every time you turned around another one of those guys was there. <br />
Of course, I could have just left and gone to a different bar. :)<br />
<br />
But, what I really want to write about is a direct approach I made last night. To go ahead and give away the ending, no I didn't take her home for glory times, nor did I get her number. In fact, I can't even remember exactly what I said. I think I basically approached, touched her immediately, TOLD her she had to tell me her name and that there was something about her that was really attracting me. Then I went into qualification and got her to talk about herself. She was a Kindergarten teacher, which is super attractive right there. <br />
<br />
What was encouraging about this approach was that I could tell right away that I was generating attraction. I went for the number fairly quickly and (surprise) was rejected! She did take my number, explaining that she just doesn't give out her number to guys. Also, she lives on the other side of the state, in Spokane, so I'm sure that had something to do with it. I really, really doubt she'll call. I give it about a 5% chance. <br />
<br />
Regardless of the outcome, what was encouraging about this was the attraction I got back during the interaction. I did try this once before, last spring, and it worked really well that time as well, but I guess I just kind of forgot. I have to start doing this more. This is going to be key for me, especially in this type of venue where it's super loud, with tons of distractions, and where normal conversation is pretty close to impossible. Yes, there will be a certain numbers game aspect to this, but that's fine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-29696627678144993802009-12-25T00:38:00.000-08:002009-12-25T00:39:51.272-08:00Update on CrossfitI mentioned in an earlier post <a href="http://rakeinseattle.blogspot.com/2009/09/thougths-on-exercise-and-weight-loss.html">here </a>that I was thinking about starting up at a Crossfit gym. Well, I went ahead and made that move about 4 weeks ago and the verdict so far is that it is really, really awesome. It's changing the way I work out completely. Right now, I'm going twice a week and paying the rate they have for that. Then I'm going to my regular gym on other days and using a lot of what I've learned to make my workouts that much more effective. <br />
<br />
My plan for the new year is to up my membership to unlimited, which means I can go as many times per week as I like, which for me will be 4-5 days. That's actually a $200/mo commitment, but my feeling right now is that it will be totally worth it. I never worked out like this when I was in the Marine Corps. In fact, the big thing that boot camp did for me back then was it just took off a bunch of weight. Yeah, my overall fitness level was better back then, but youth helps a lot too. If we had worked out like this in boot camp, guys would have been a lot better off. Instead, what happens is guys lose a bunch of weight in boot camp through restricted diet, running, marching all day, and all the other training we do, then gain half or more of it back within a few months. I was at about 160 lbs when I finished boot camp, but for most of the rest of my 4 years, I stayed right around 190. Then I got out and ballooned up to about 215 within a year or so, and onward and upwards from there. My height is 6'1".<br />
<br />
One thing I wish is that I could find the time to do a Step Aerobics class once or twice a week, along with the Crossfit. The problem is there just aren't enough hours in the day/week for that. Step really is pretty awesome. As I've said before, I don't know why more guys don't do it. What I might do is dedicate January to doing Crossfit 4-5 days/week and then move back down to twice a week in February and try to get some stepping in. Have to think about that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-45713534698913347662009-11-19T21:53:00.000-08:002009-11-19T21:53:42.571-08:00Stuff I want to write more aboutI think the time has come to make this blog a little less self-referential and maybe, just maybe, a little bit less of a self-indulgent pity party. I think this will make it more interesting and hopefully draw more readers, thereby leading to actual conversations and dialogue, which will hopefully give me some relevance, which will lead to even more conversations and dialogue, which will bring even more relevance, etc. I think you see where I'm going with this.<br />
<br />
In this spirit, here are a couple of closely related subjects I would like to write more about:<br />
<br />
<b>Attraction</b> - i.e. what is it that women are really attracted to in a man? Some of my sources for this subject include the work done by Lovesystems and published in their e-book <i>Magic Bullets</i> (which of course is derived from <i>Mystery Method</i>). Lovesystems, of course, used to be called The Mystery Method Corporation, until Mystery left to become part of Venusian Arts. David Deida's <i>Way of the Superior Man</i> is another good source. I will very likely reference some <a href="http://roissy.wordpress.com/">Roissy</a> posts as well. Also, there is a frequent commenter at Roissy that goes by aliasclio. She made some comments the other day that really stuck with me. <br />
<br />
Clio has her own blog <a href="http://aliasclio.wordpress.com/">here</a>. <br />
<br />
The Roissy post that she was commenting on is <a href="http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/how-game-changes-for-the-mature-player/">here</a>.<br />
<b><br />
Realistic Dating Strategy</b> - this is a subject I started mulling over a number of months ago. The basic premise here is that when you think about it in terms of long-term outcomes, the Community really doesn't serve the needs of most of the guys that seek it out. There are all sorts of reasons for this, which I plan to go into more detail about, but the bottom line is that most guys simply aren't going to become true <i>Players</i>. By itself, that's fine. In fact, if you talk to most guys, they'll probably tell you that isn't their goal anyway. But, the way the Community is set up, the marketing, hype, and mentality really pushes the idea that this is what the goal is. So, the question I'm trying to answer is this: short of completely dedicating himself for months, or even years, to becoming this great player, a master seducer of women, what is a realistic strategy that would help the average guy improve his social life and his prospects with women? I DO think that learning some Game is an important part of this effort. But, I think there's a lot to be said for spending more time on other stuff. Some guys, for instance, really need to develop their conversational skills. I think that's a big one - having the ability to talk to and truly <i>engage</i> almost anyone. <br />
<br />
I'm really, really interested in feedback on these ideas.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-88744946586220861802009-10-26T02:14:00.000-07:002009-10-26T02:14:42.193-07:00Day GameWent out day gaming today in downtown Seattle. My new wing, S, really seems to think that all I need to do is go direct. He's really firm about that. But right now, doing a direct approach on the street, with no pretext, is still really, really hard. However, I did manage some bookstore approaches and, if I'd been a little more ballsy and aggressive at the right time, I know I could have made them hook. I know, that sounds lame, and it is. <br />
<br />
The interesting thing that happened was that I totally entranced a salesgirl without even really trying. She wasn't really hot, but she was fuckable. I would call her a fuckable 5.5. On my scale, a 6 is an above average, cute girl, so 5.5 isn't really that bad.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I had made a few approaches already and was just kind of browsing when the salesgirl came up to ask me if I needed any help. We started talking and, as it turned out, she knew nothing about the section of books I was browsing, so I opened up and started telling her about some of the books there, explaining in one case how the ideas brought up by one author were the subject of a book by a different author. I also pointed out a couple of books that would be good gifts, since holidays are just around the corner. Then I got to talking about the publishing industry, the impact of the Kindle on the book business, and how I thought Amazon was starting to act kind of evil and monopolistic, especially with regards to the newspaper industry. This, of course, led to my thoughts on the problems the newspaper industry is having with declining ad revenue and what the implications of that are for the news media in general. It's amazing what happens when you have a pretext for talking about stuff you know a lot about. <br />
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To be fair, she could have just been listening to me to be polite. But, my gut instinct is that wasn't what was happening, mostly because of the way she was staring at me. Also, right at the end, her boyfriend/husband came in the store and motioned for her to come (he was obviously there to pick her up) and it was like he woke her up from a trance. She was kind of startled and said something like "oh gosh, I guess I need to go clock out." She literally sounded stunned. <br />
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So, from a game perspective, what seems to have happened here is that I generated very strong attraction by massively DHV'ing myself and hitting a number of attraction switches. I went into her world (the book industry) and showed that I know a lot about it, probably more than most of her peers and supervisors. That's a DHV right there. Then I started telling her about some of the books in that section, which is more DHV but also displays <i>dominance </i>(teacher/student). Then I started picking up different, related threads, demonstrating <i>intelligence and knowledge</i>. I was also <i>well-dressed,groomed</i>, etc. <br />
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Now, assuming that I wanted to turn this interaction into a number, what I needed to do was qualify her and give her a reason to believe that there were some things about her (other than her vagina) that I found attractive. In other words, after massively DHV'ing myself, I had to find a way to bring her up closer to my level.<br />
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So, the first lesson learned here is find a pretext, any pretext, to start blabbing about shit I know a lot about. <br />
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The second lesson is to qualify, qualify, qualify. Then, when I'm done with that, I need to qualify some more. In fact, the beauty of qualification is that it should help me find some pretext, whatever it is, to start blabbing about stuff I know a lot about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-42556644680213983182009-10-23T15:51:00.000-07:002009-10-23T15:51:45.974-07:00Speed Dating SucksI went to this speed dating charity fundraiser last night. I've done speed dating a couple of times before, mostly because I was curious about it. This time I went because a friend of mine was organizing it and he was short of guys. <br />
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Anyway, it sucked. That's what I'm getting to here. It would have been better if I could have lied about my age, but that wasn't in the cards since my friend obviously knows how old I am. Since I got stuck in the older group, some of the women I talked to were really, really older than me - I'm talking women that looked like they were in their mid-50's. Keep in mind that I am a very young looking 39. My dating strategy is go younger, not older. And it wasn't just that they were old, but some of these women were just absolutely hideous warpigs. In fact, even in the younger group I didn't see many women that were very good looking - maybe a handful.<br />
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Next time he does this, if he wants me to go, I am going to insist that he at least put me in the younger group.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-66980034780670398092009-10-18T18:04:00.000-07:002009-10-18T18:04:52.399-07:00Weekend In ReviewI changed things up a bit this week. Went out on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday with my regular wing, M, and a new guy in town, S, that is probably more advanced than most guys in Seattle right now. On Saturday, a couple other new guys joined us that I have a pretty good feeling about. I really hope that this group of guys can turn into a solid group that goes out together regularly. The new guys are REALLY inexperienced, but at the same time they seem pretty serious. But even if the new guys don't work out, it looks like S will, which is awesome. <br />
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Towards the end of the night on Thursday, I talked with M and S wrt my frustrations about how useless it is to go out with the <a href="http://rakeinseattle.blogspot.com/2009/10/blind-leading-blind.html">big group from the previous week</a>. My basic point was that nobody is really improving in that sort of situation, partly because the group is just too damn big, but also because, like I said before, it's the blind leading the blind - none of those guys are going out with any kind of a plan. So, we agreed to start meeting earlier in the night and to start reviewing our plan before we head out. <br />
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Incidentally, I've started calling that big group of guys <i>the super squad</i>, which I think is hilarious. On the forum, I didn't even have to explain it. Everyone knew immediately who I was talking about. Last night, I even turned it into an opener, asking a couple groups in Amber, "hey, have you guys seen the super squad?" Of course, they didn't have any idea who or what I was talking about, but I amused myself, which was sort of the point.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-74938946801198631352009-10-15T00:55:00.000-07:002009-10-15T00:55:49.085-07:00The blind leading the blindWent out last Saturday with some of the local community guys. It's becoming more and more clear to me that this sort of an outing is simply an exercise in the blind leading the blind. None of these guys really have any clue what they're doing. They don't know what they want to open with, how to transition, how to build attraction, establish comfort, etc. I don't think any of them really understand how to escalate. I believe I mentioned in a previous post that there are just a handful of guys connected to the Seattle Lair that have any real game. Yeah, none of those guys were out with us on Saturday.<br />
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Seriously, what exactly is the point of a bunch of dudes with sub-par social skills all going out together? <br />
<br />
Which isn't to say that I'm any better, because I'm not. But, it's clear to me that I'm not going to get any better just going out with these guys and hanging out. This is reinforcing to me my conviction that I need to do an RSD bootcamp, and the sooner I can get that done the better off I'll be. <br />
<br />
In the meantime, I can work on tightening up my game. When I first started this stuff last spring, I was going out with a plan. I knew what I wanted to open and transition with and I had some ideas at least about building attraction. But then that shit all got lost somewhere in the following few months. This doesn't mean I want to become robo-pua, spitting out attraction routines like some kind of social robot, but I do want to make sure I'm going out at night with a basic idea of how to open, transition, build attraction, etc. so that I can start building up some positive reference experiences.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-26448967921992252322009-10-07T13:04:00.000-07:002009-10-07T13:04:35.638-07:00Two Questions About Calling Chicks<b>Question #1</b> - I got this girl's phone number a few months ago and never called. I did text her once, but I got discouraged when she didn't respond. So I didn't call. Since then, I've learned that this is extremely common, especially with the more social type of female that has lots going on, which is exactly what this girl is. I know this because I have since found out that we have some mutual acquaintances and because I'm a crazy online stalker. The good part about knowing some people in common is that I'm more likely to run into her again. <br />
<br />
So, the question is this, am I better off calling her cold, after several months, or should I wait for a more opportune time to "casually" run into her via our common social connections? I'm leaning towards giving her a call. I really, really regret not pursuing this girl harder. <br />
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<b>Question #2 </b>- Is it better to leave a voice mail or not? I've heard all kinds of conflicting advice on this. I'm mostly referring to situations where you've gotten the number (via a cold approach or whatever) but you still don't know her very well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-66470679912552882822009-10-06T02:41:00.000-07:002009-10-06T02:51:59.286-07:00RSD BootcampI'm one step closer to signing up for a Real Social Dynamics (RSD) bootcamp. If you aren't familiar with RSD, they are famous in the Community for rejecting the more common <i>Solid Game</i> approach (i.e. various methods derived from Mystery Method) in favor of what they call <i>Natural Game</i>. Basically, what it comes down to is that they really, really focus on inner game issues, getting you loose and unstifled, bringing energy and fun, and pushing hardcore aggressiveness and sexual escalation.<br />
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They're also known for being somewhat cult-like. RSD guys can be a little fanatical. At this point, I'm less worried about that.<br />
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I just finished looking at the money side of things and if I do it in San Francisco, I think I can do the whole trip for about $2,300. The normal cost of an RSD bootcamp is $2000, but if you take it in SF or Austin, it's only $1500. I imagine that's because the instructors are based in those cities, which keeps them from having to pay travel expenses. So, if they were doing it here in Seattle, it would be $2000, not a huge difference really.<br />
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San Francisco is ideal for several reasons. First off, it's a cool city and someplace I think I might want to live someday. Secondly, it's a quick plane ride, so I can leave Seattle Friday morning and be settled in my hotel by early afternoon. These things usually start off in the early evening, so that should work fine. At the same time, I can catch a late flight out Sunday night, which saves me from having to pay for a hotel that night. If I were to go to Austin instead, I would have to plan for additional travel time, which would make the whole thing that much more expensive. But, the number one reason to take it in SF is because the instructor will be Jeffy, aka Jlaix, one of the most well-known and <i>known to be legit</i> PUAs in the Community. He also has a reputation as one of the best teachers, which is super-important to me.<br />
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There's a very good chance I'll book the whole thing tomorrow. I have a few logistical questions that I need answered first, such as when I need to be there on that Friday and when I should plan to fly out Sunday night. Part of what makes it affordable is limiting my stay to Friday and Saturday nights. I'll be exhausted when I get home, but it will be worth it I think.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Some reasons to move forward with this:</b></span><br />
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<u>Self-knowledge/progress report</u><br />
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After six months or so in The Game, I am basically stuck. I've made some minor progress, become a lot more open than I was a year ago, but I'm not getting laid. Most nights I can approach, but there are some nights where I feel completely stuck in my head. I've mentioned before that I don't feel like I'm a very fun person. Interesting yes, but not especially "fun", per se. In this way, I am actually extremely male - logical, intensely analytical, etc. Even if this is all in my head, it's a HUGE problem for me, especially when it comes to Night Game, because that attitude colors all of my interactions.<br />
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<u>Last Saturday Night</u><br />
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I was out with a bunch of local Community guys on Saturday night and couldn't do anything. I wasn't especially anxious or anything, just stuck. It's kind of hard to explain. I wanted to approach, but in the back of my head all I can think is that it's completely useless. At the same time, I watched this other guy in the group just go completely direct and sexual with the hottest girl in the club (one of the hottest girls I've seen in a while) and have her basically eating out of his hand. I would be shocked if he didn't fuck her later that night.<br />
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The thing about this guy is that he is very anti-method. I know him well enough to know that he's basically taught himself to go completely natural and do what he wants to do whenever he wants to do it. He's somehow managed to free himself from all of his social conditioning. This is very RSD-ish.<br />
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<u>Personal Recommendation</u><br />
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A friend of mine took Jeffy's bootcamp in SF a few weeks ago and emerged with his game at a whole new level. This guy knows me. He moved to a different city a few months ago, but we've kept in touch and he knows what my issues are. He agreed that this is the best thing for me to do.<br />
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<b>Some Other Thoughts:</b><br />
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I've basically come to the conclusion that the pure <i>Solid Game</i> approach isn't going to work for me right now. At this point, when I go out I am too stuck in my head - and that's even on my best nights. I also HATE having to drink when I go out. I don't drink a lot, but three drinks seems to be what it takes to get me to loosen up. I HATE that!<br />
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I think I may actually have kind of a dominant personality. It comes out sometimes at work when I go into "command" mode, usually in crisis situations. My voice and tonality, and body language all change. Really, everything about me changes. If true, this would obviously help me out considerably. But, I have to do something to bring it out in the social environment. There's at least a chance RSD can do this for me. I'm looking for an experience that will literally shake my reality and put me in a different place.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-64437749420345675572009-09-29T01:03:00.000-07:002009-09-29T01:03:58.562-07:00Facebook PicturesI saw some pictures of myself earlier tonight that kind of depressed me. The pictures are from an event I went to over the weekend and they got posted on facebook. It isn't that I think I'm bad looking or too heavy in these pictures, but more that I just look like I'm not happy. Every shot I'm in, I simply don't look like I want to be there. This is something I need to change. Even if I'm bored or whatever, I need to learn how to fake it better.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-67620493810221890702009-09-28T23:54:00.000-07:002009-09-29T01:06:23.530-07:00Tips for Improved Posture<div style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.tenmagnet.com/">Tenmagnet</a>, one of the instructors at <a href="http://www.lovesystems.com/">Lovesystems</a>, posted this back in July on his blog: <a href="http://www.tenmagnet.com/2009/07/27/improved-attractive-posture/">Six Tips for an Improved Attractive Posture.</a><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;">When I think of men (and women) that I've met over the years that impress me, they've always had good posture. I suspect women are even more sensitive to it. Your posture is part of that instant first impression that people have of you.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;">I've been keenly aware of my bad posture for some time now. The upper cross syndrome that he describes is exactly what I'm dealing with. While I have made some real progress on my other fitness goals, I haven't done shit to fix this particular issue.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;">That is changing as of now. If I apply myself consistently and do a few of these exercises every day, I should see a difference in a month or so.<br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;">This is important for other areas of my life besides picking up women. Last week, the company I started working at 2 months ago laid off ten people. If THE MAJOR DEAL that they are counting on doesn't come through in the next three weeks, I'll be gone as well. In fact, half the company is likely to get laid off. So, I want to be ready to interview again, and part of that is making sure that I convey a strong, powerful, confident physical presence, rather than a weak one, which is what I have now. <br />
</div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-86543471741795291802009-09-25T18:38:00.000-07:002009-09-25T18:38:46.889-07:00Daytime Cold ApproachesYesterday, I mustered up the courage to cold approach a woman on the street. I had left the office for a few minutes to grab a sandwich and, while waiting in line, I saw a woman that, for me, is very close to a 9 - really, really my type. And so, while I was waiting there, I resolved to at least approach her, which I did.<br />
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Now, I HAVE approached in the daytime before. I don't find it horribly difficult if I can come up with some sort of pretense, or somehow figure out a way to make it seem natural that I'm talking to her. Last week, for instance, I got on the elevator with a woman that works on the same floor as me, made idle chit chat on the way down and then wound up walking with her and chatting for a couple of blocks. Right at the end I noticed that she had a great big rock on her finger, so I didn't go for the number, but it was a solid interaction. I could tell I was generating attraction from her. It worked. It was seamless and natural without any awkwardness. <br />
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In this situation, I had no pretense to talk to the target, or at least I couldn't think of anything. So, I went direct with something like this: "Hi, I just saw you standing in line back there and wanted to meet you. My name is Rake" She looked surprised but then she gave me her name, and then I asked if I could walk with her for a bit, which she was fine with. So we walked for a bit, but the problem was I couldn't think of anything to say after that. With that kind of direct approach, it's not like I'm going to run some sort of routine on her. She pretty quickly threw out that she was engaged and that was pretty much that.<br />
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The one part that went well was that I could tell she was surprised and (I believe) pleased to be approached like that. Actually, to be perfectly honest, the look on her face was complete shock, which, since this is a very hot girl, is actually somewhat surprising in itself. I would think she's getting approached regularly. <br />
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I think there's a lot of potential in this approach. I just need to figure out a way to transition from the initial awkwardness of the approach and into some sort of normal conversation. Also, I need to do this a few more times just to get used to it. I think that alone will help.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-607992654569982948.post-26717699168763291732009-09-25T17:06:00.000-07:002009-09-25T17:07:38.350-07:00Laptops and Coffee ShopsMaster Dogen at <a href="http://alpha-status.blogspot.com/">Alpha Status </a>made a good point about laptops the other day, calling them <a href="http://alpha-status.blogspot.com/2009/09/beta-machine.html">Beta Machines</a>. He's so right.<br />
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Seattle is well known for its love of coffee and coffee shops. Starbucks started here. My normal haunt, Cafe Allegro, was one of Starbucks' very first customers back in the '70's. Aside from the ubiquitous Starbucks, there are also a number of independent coffee houses and small chains that do very well. As I'm typing this up, I'm sitting in Cafe Zoka, in the Greenlake area. I don't typically come here, but I felt like a change.<br />
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For anyone curious about the coffee shop culture here in Seattle, here is a picture:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_foKj6w1Bz1A/Sr1YarnNRQI/AAAAAAAAAAw/vEiMtfkrwCE/s1600-h/Picture+002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_foKj6w1Bz1A/Sr1YarnNRQI/AAAAAAAAAAw/vEiMtfkrwCE/s320/Picture+002.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is so typical Seattle. Very friendly city we got here.<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Note: I'm just as bad as the rest. <br />
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</div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0