I Have High Standards

I have high standards for what I want in a woman. There's a certain type I'm attracted to. Beautiful, yes, I like beautiful women, but it's more than that. I want charm and style and class. That's what I'm attracted to. I came close to that a couple years ago, but it didn't work out. That's one reason I'm plugging away at this stuff. I want to be with quality women.
The other night I was at this party. It was a pretty big event - couple hundred people. There were a lot of girls there. My friend pointed out one girl to me that he said was down to fuck that night. She was decent looking, but I wasn't really attracted. Should I have pursued this? I don't know. I think that, minimally, I have to find something in the girl that is attractive to me before I can really pursue it. Otherwise, it's just not going to work.

Roosh says here that you should never pass on the sure thing:

8. You will go home empty-handed if you pass on the sure thing.
If one night you have both a sure thing and a “maybe” with another girl, always go for the sure thing. It’s never happened in the history of the world that a man got something after skipping on the sure thing, party because the mere act of skipping on the sure thing for some other girl means you’re overvaluing the better girl. Bad game will leak out as a result.
Don’t worry, they’ll another be another opportunity to upgrade next time, but on this night, go ahead and get your dick wet. As a man who has lost count of how many times I skipped over the sure-thing and got nothing, trust me when I say that the other girl won’t put out. You’ll get a number at most. This partially goes against my philosophy that you should pick the girl and not let her pick you, but when guaranteed sex is at play it’s okay to put that aside.

I like Roosh, but I don't think I agree with this, at least not for myself. I didn't get into the game to fuck the sure thing. Like I said at the beginning, I want quality women. That's why I'm doing this.

The Attitude of the Closer

A few months back, a thread got started on the online forum for the local lair about the importance of having the attitude of a "closer". You have to want to close the deal. This is why we go out - to meet girls, get to know them, and then fuck them.

I'll give you an example of why this is so important.

A few weeks ago, I went to this charity event in the University District. A friend of mine was involved with this group, and I thought the cause was great, so I showed up to buy a few drinks and do what I could to help out. I knew there would be a fair number of people there, but it was a Monday night and I didn't really expect much in the way of opportunities to Game. I mingled. I talked with some people I knew and met a few new ones. There were a few girls there and I did talk kind of briefly with this cute college girl, and even managed to throw out a couple of DHV stories from my time in the military. I didn't sense a whole lot of attraction from her, which was fine. I could tell she was really young, and as interested as I may be in fucking girls that age, they can be pretty hard to relate to. So after about 8 minutes, it just kind of fizzled out, which, again, was just fine. 

But then, as I was leaving, she stopped me. She said "oh, are you leaving now?", or something to that effect. So I stopped and talked to her for a little while longer, seeded a date, and got her number.

Tried her several days later and no response. Tried her a week or so after that and still no response. Tried again a week or so ago and still no response.

I can look back at this interaction and point to a number of things I did wrong. I really didn't qualify her enough. I didn't escalate, at least not much beyond social touching. I didn't ping for compliance. I didn't move her. The interaction was actually more similar to day game than night game.

But, the biggest mistake I made was not putting in the effort to "close the deal". In fact, I was so stunned that this girl was giving me IOI's (and then actually getting her number), that I basically just gave up early in the interaction to "preserve the win".

The lesson learned is this: that girl that was attracted to you that night, in that particular situation, could very well have second thoughts the next day. If she's a hot girl, she more than likely has other guys calling and texting her. Some of those guys, quite frankly, may be better options than you. More importantly, even if she isn't juggling a ton of other dudes, it's highly likely she won't remember what it was about you that she was so attracted to that night that she gave you her number.

Which is why it's so important to push the interaction as far as possible and get that shit done. You still may not fuck her that night. In fact, the chances of you fucking her that night are probably still pretty slim. But, if you push the interaction as far as it can go, you leave more of an emotional footprint on her, and that's going to give you a better chance of actually getting her to go out with you and, ideally, the two of you having some sexy time together.

What I'm Listening To

The top ten on my workout playlist:

1. Feel It  (feat. Tiesto) [with Sean Kingston & Flo Rida) - Three 6 Mafia
2. Never Enough (Feat. 50 cent & Nate Dogg) - Eminem
3. Nothin' On You (featuring Bruno Mars) - B.o.B.
4. Business - Eminem
5. Written On Her - Birdman, Jay Sean, Flo Rida, & MackMaine
6. 'Till I Collapse - Eminem
7. Say Aah (feat. Fabolous) - Trey Songz
8. Troublemaker - Akon & Sweet Rush
9. Keep You Much Longer - Akon
10. I Made It (Cash Money Heroes) [feat. Birdman, Jay Sean, & Lil Wayne) - Kevin Rudolph

I just came into a bunch of Eminem stuff courtesy of my roommate and his 150 GB music collection. Never listened to him too much before but he's starting to grow on me.

CrossFit Controversy

Yesterday, an anonymous human left a pretty awesome comment on my last CrossFit Update post.

Personally, I like CrossFit because the concept of functional fitness just really appeals to me. It makes sense. However, as I learn more and more about it, I'm also learning about the controversy.  Here is great article I found the other day that I think gives a very evenhanded treatment of CrossFit - both good and bad.

While I realize CrossFit isn't the most effective way to build muscle, my goals are more aligned with overall fitness and weight loss, not bodybuilding or power lifting. I really just want to drop weight and get my body back and not cringe when I see myself naked in the mirror. And it seems to be working. The actual weight loss, as measured on the scale, is still pretty minimal, but when I look in the mirror, I see my gut starting to pull in and I'm seeing and feeling muscles in my shoulders and legs that have simply never been there before. My jeans are getting looser as well and I'm starting to swim in some of my shirts.

One other quick note: last weekend I got my squat up to 175 lbs, and it was fairly easy. My workout that day was actually pretty awesome. I warmed up by rowing 1000m and then I did 100 lunges, 100 squats, 100 pushups, and 100 situps. The squats and lunges were both bodyweight only. Then I moved over to the weights and did squats 5 X 5 at 155 lbs, 1 X 3 at 165 lbs, and 1 X 3 at 175 lbs. I know this isn't huge weight by true weightlifting standards, but I'm pretty pleased with the improvement - about 40 lbs in 8 weeks. My near term goal on the squat is 200 lbs, which I think I'll have handled in the next month or so. For the year, is 300 lbs doable? I think it could be.

Crossfit Update

Just finished week 7 of my crossfit program. I'm going 4 days a week now, plus I'm working out on my own at least one day of the weekend. I need to start running soon.

My whole body feels stronger now and I have way more energy at work and when going out at night.

Last week I found my deadlift max of 225 pounds. I'm not really sure how good or bad that is, but think it's probably in the "okay" range. I'm hoping to have that up to 245 in five or six weeks when it's time to try it again. Is 300 attainable by the end of the year? I don't know enough yet to know the answer to that question.

I haven't found my max squat yet, but I squatted 160 pounds doing multiple reps (5 sets of 3), and it was challenging but reasonably doable. I suspect my one rep max is probably 170 or above. When I started back in early December, I think I was doing sets of 145 pounds, which I think was challenging mostly because I wasn't used to the movement.

On the scale, I'm down 5-7 pounds. This is okay progress, but I'm sure I could do better than that if I committed to an actual diet. Meh. We'll see.

Approaching Direct

Interesting night last night. We went to a venue in Seattle's Belltown district that's pretty popular and I swear there were at least 20 local community guys there that I either knew personally or through others. Every time you turned around another one of those guys was there.
Of course, I could have just left and gone to a different bar. :)

But, what I really want to write about is a direct approach I made last night. To go ahead and give away the ending, no I didn't take her home for glory times, nor did I get her number. In fact, I can't even remember exactly what I said. I think I basically approached, touched her immediately, TOLD her she had to tell me her name and that there was something about her that was really attracting me. Then I went into qualification and got her to talk about herself. She was a Kindergarten teacher, which is super attractive right there.

What was encouraging about this approach was that I could tell right away that I was generating attraction. I went for the number fairly quickly and (surprise) was rejected! She did take my number, explaining that she just doesn't give out her number to guys. Also, she lives on the other side of the state, in Spokane, so I'm sure that had something to do with it. I really, really doubt she'll call. I give it about a 5% chance.

Regardless of the outcome, what was encouraging about this was the attraction I got back during the interaction. I did try this once before, last spring, and it worked really well that time as well, but I guess I just kind of forgot. I have to start doing this more. This is going to be key for me, especially in this type of venue where it's super loud, with tons of distractions, and where normal conversation is pretty close to impossible. Yes, there will be a certain numbers game aspect to this, but that's fine.

Update on Crossfit

I mentioned in an earlier post here that I was thinking about starting up at a Crossfit gym. Well, I went ahead and made that move about 4 weeks ago and the verdict so far is that it is really, really awesome. It's changing the way I work out completely. Right now, I'm going twice a week and paying the rate they have for that. Then I'm going to my regular gym on other days and using a lot of what I've learned to make my workouts that much more effective.

My plan for the new year is to up my membership to unlimited, which means I can go as many times per week as I like, which for me will be 4-5 days. That's actually a $200/mo commitment, but my feeling right now is that it will be totally worth it. I never worked out like this when I was in the Marine Corps. In fact, the big thing that boot camp did for me back then was it just took off a bunch of weight. Yeah, my overall fitness level was better back then, but youth helps a lot too. If we had worked out like this in boot camp, guys would have been a lot better off. Instead, what happens is guys lose a bunch of weight in boot camp through restricted diet, running, marching all day, and all the other training we do, then gain half or more of it back within a few months. I was at about 160 lbs when I finished boot camp, but for most of the rest of my 4 years, I stayed right around 190. Then I got out and ballooned up to about 215 within a year or so, and onward and upwards from there. My height is 6'1".

One thing I wish is that I could find the time to do a Step Aerobics class once or twice a week, along with the Crossfit. The problem is there just aren't enough hours in the day/week for that. Step really is pretty awesome. As I've said before, I don't know why more guys don't do it. What I might do is dedicate January to doing Crossfit 4-5 days/week and then move back down to twice a week in February and try to get some stepping in. Have to think about that.